Matt: 00:13

Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let's talk about sex.

Matt: 00:36

Instead, let's talk about philosophy. Was it Okay.

Matt: 00:40

Don't know much about philosophy. All I know is that I love you. And I wanna make you mad to boo.

Matt: 00:51

And I wanna grab your boots.

Kristin: 00:57

I I don't think that's a poet.

Matt: 01:00

I don't think that's words.

Kristin: 01:01

I don't think so either.

Matt: 01:02

Yeah.

Kristin: 01:02

But, yeah, let's talk about philosophy.

Matt: 01:04

Philosophy. It's like everybody says

Kristin: 01:06

I don't have a song.

Matt: 01:07

Be philosophy they were use the word. This is philosophy or that's you're being philosophical or what's your philosophy? There's another song from good old was the name Christian Chenoweth from the, Your Good Man, Charlie Brown musical.

Matt: 01:25

That's a

Matt: 01:25

great one. Oh. That's my philosophy my new philosophy. Brown. She gets this is a she gets influenced and instructed by different things people say, hey.

Matt: 01:40

That's my new philosophy. And she moves on. So yeah. But philosophy, what it really is, the definition is to love wisdom. Love of wisdom.

Matt: 01:57

So to have a so let's do philosophy about philosophy.

Kristin: 02:04

Okay.

Matt: 02:04

K?

Kristin: 02:05

Okay.

Matt: 02:06

It's the love love of wisdom about love of wisdom. It's like but really what I think another way of of explaining philosophy is it's to think about thinking.

Kristin: 02:25

Yeah.

Matt: 02:25

Because if you love wisdom, you're gonna think about thinking and think about knowledge, think about experience, and think about judgment. Because that's what wisdom is. Mhmm. It's the it's the, especially the application of ex you know, what is it? The quality of experience, knowledge, and judgment.

Kristin: 02:50

And judgment. Yeah.

Matt: 02:53

It's interesting because, you know, on the judgment, it it resides. Do you know where?

Kristin: 03:01

It frontal lobe. Well, that's what you yes.

Matt: 03:04

That's what I want.

Kristin: 03:05

That's what you you need your development of your frontal lobe to in order to make good judgments, your decision making capabilities.

Matt: 03:13

Yeah. And when and when when either a kid, for example, or or or a

Kristin: 03:17

Yeah. And actually using your knowledge and experience in your left and right hemisphere of your brains. Like, that is

Matt: 03:25

Right.

Kristin: 03:25

With your decisions.

Matt: 03:27

Yeah. I mean, that's like a fully formed

Kristin: 03:30

Yeah. It's your brain communicating, which is, like you're saying, thinking. It's to actually think through what you know, what you have experienced, and and and judge make judgments and to move forward with another decision.

Matt: 03:48

Right. And and right. The frontal lobe isn't fully developed until, let's say, about 25.

Kristin: 03:53

Mhmm.

Matt: 03:54

And that's why there's so many less than 25 year olds lack judgment or are really impulsive and very reactive. It's it's a part of their structure.

Kristin: 04:07

Yeah. That's actually the the developmental stage they're in.

Matt: 04:10

Right.

Kristin: 04:10

They need to.

Matt: 04:11

Also, the issue of of, DUI or DWI, the reason why alcohol is so injurious to, driving, why it's so impairing to driving is because it really affects divided attention tasks.

Kristin: 04:27

Interesting. Uh-huh.

Matt: 04:28

And it affects the first thing that goes when you when you when you consume alcohol, it's a neurological depressant.

Kristin: 04:34

Mhmm. It's

Matt: 04:35

judgment. Yeah. And eventually coordination. Mhmm. So it's really bad for driving.

Kristin: 04:43

Mhmm. Yeah.

Matt: 04:44

Bad for bad for a lot of things. Right?

Kristin: 04:46

Yeah. Well, yeah. Because you don't just use the judgment in driving.

Matt: 04:49

There you go. There you go.

Kristin: 04:51

Yeah.

Matt: 04:52

So I thought that was interesting because if that's the case, and it is, then philosophy could also because could rightly be defined as love of cognitive functioning.

Kristin: 05:06

I love that.

Matt: 05:09

Love of cognitive development.

Kristin: 05:12

Yeah.

Matt: 05:13

Love of neuroscience. How about that?

Kristin: 05:15

Yeah. And then what's which makes philosophy so interesting is then when you do philosophy, share philosophy with someone, you're sharing your love of your cognitive development, your experience, and your decision, right, with another.

Matt: 05:29

Interesting.

Kristin: 05:30

Which is share it is it's and then discussing truth. What is? Because

Matt: 05:35

Right. You know

Kristin: 05:35

mine and you know yours or whoever you're speaking with.

Matt: 05:38

That's interesting.

Kristin: 05:39

That's interesting. I love philosophy.

Matt: 05:42

It's interesting because when you're what you're saying there about, like, sharing with another person, I mean, that's, like, that's I've said before that empathy is simply just a form of abstract thinking. It's it's an extension of object permanence. Right? Like, when a kid when they're when they're young, you can play peekaboo, and so they don't know. Right?

Matt: 06:05

Oh, where'd he go? Or you or or you can, you know, have a coin or something, cover it up, and they're like, where'd it go? It's gone. It no longer exists because I can't see it. Yeah.

Matt: 06:15

And eventually, they develop object permanence, and they remember these things exist when I'm not around or when it's not when I can't see it.

Kristin: 06:21

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Matt: 06:23

And so you were saying there about sharing is like, it's it's that's a whole another level of philosophy because it's saying, now I want to experience, know, and have judgment about your experience, knowledge, and judgment, which is to say your behaviors and your approaches to life and the way you navigate your environment. I wanna know about that, and I love that.

Kristin: 06:50

Yes. Me too. And then you can also actually, with with with with philosophy, you get to use, and and think through another perspective. Like, I wonder what I would have done in that situation knowing what I like, things like that. You can really or I didn't know that about what I thought I already knew.

Kristin: 07:13

You know, it's it sort of allows me to think even further about things I thought.

Matt: 07:18

Mhmm. And and and it's such a critical you know, thinking is the very human experience, but

Kristin: 07:26

Oh, yeah.

Matt: 07:27

Connecting to another human is

Kristin: 07:30

Yeah.

Matt: 07:31

Necessary to humanity.

Kristin: 07:33

And I think that's what led me to that is then it allows it allows more empathy because you it's it builds perspective.

Matt: 07:41

Mhmm. That's it. That's it. It's you take perception and sharing your perceptions with another allows allows you to gain perspective, empathy. Yeah.

Matt: 07:57

Apply my my perception through your filter, and now we can adjust it and see what we share, what we don't, and find not have my truth and your truth, but have honest truth. Mhmm. Objective truth. Something real.

Kristin: 08:19

Yeah.

Matt: 08:21

And and that's there's a there's a connection in that that's sound.

Kristin: 08:25

Yeah. I love you the perception and perspective thought, but because you were talking about that the other end. I've been thinking about that. And it this the whole empathy thing, you without, you have to have perceptions first. But with only your you you were mentioning it with only your perceptions, you cannot or without talking to another about or even understanding that you have your own perceptions Mhmm.

Kristin: 08:54

Right? That are different from mine. And then when you talk about those, then you really can it it really opens up the perception thing. It's Yeah. But they're both they're both important.

Kristin: 09:07

Anyways, and that's

Matt: 09:08

Yeah. Well, I'm Matt Long.

Kristin: 09:11

I'm Kristen Long.

Matt: 09:12

And we're skeptical mystics. And the idea of being skeptical mystics is both about being skeptical about your mystical experiences Mhmm. And allowing mysticism to elevate your skepticism and to be inspired by skepticism even. And it's really this, I think, this idea of you know, we have we have so many parts of the brain, not just two. There's two hemispheres, but there's so many regions that so do so many interesting and compelling and interrelated things, the system of the of the brain and nervous system.

Matt: 09:58

But but the the but but if we break it down just to two and we could do that, there is this mystical and the skeptical. There's the imagination, the emotion, the the high experience, and then reason, rationality, logic. And they both one without the other, again, is madness.

Kristin: 10:25

Mhmm. You yes.

Matt: 10:28

And they they can are meant to be like a good marriage, teammates, partners.

Kristin: 10:38

Mhmm.

Matt: 10:39

A symbiotic companionship, a a system that has a singular purpose because they share an outcome.

Kristin: 10:54

Yeah. With pushes and pulls.

Matt: 10:56

They they they They

Kristin: 10:57

share an yeah.

Matt: 10:57

They share an outcome.

Kristin: 10:58

Yeah.

Matt: 10:59

And so they should have the same purpose. And a great way is to filter mysticism through skepticism and skepticism through mysticism and do that a couple times. And that's what loving wisdom is because love is attention and love is awareness. And so if we attend to our experiences, knowledge, and judgment, and if we're aware of our experiences, knowledge, and judgment, we spend time with our attention and awareness. That's a that's love.

Matt: 11:40

Mhmm. But, you know, I was I was thinking about love and how we always say that love is a virtue and that's not always the case because people love power. Mhmm. People love money. People love to see others in pain.

Matt: 12:00

Mhmm. People love cruelty. They love selfishness. They they love so many destructive, dangerous, and demoralizing things. Mhmm.

Matt: 12:15

And so there are different types of of love just like there are different types of truth. This idea of perception is saying, okay. If all I do is live in my perception, then I have my truth. Okay. And you can live in your perception and have your truth.

Matt: 12:31

And we can maybe agree to disagree

Kristin: 12:34

Oh, damn.

Matt: 12:35

About what is and that's fine. It's necessary. But if it's about what is, about existence, and if you share an existence, an environment, it's a lot easier, more comfortable, pleasurable, and even interesting if you share truths more than if you are divided in what's true. And so there's a connection between truth and love. Mhmm.

Matt: 13:10

And and and and I think philosophically, if one loves wisdom Mhmm. And applies experience, knowledge, and judgment. There are without controversy three types of truths which are also three types of love. And that's the one we all, I think, intend to mean when we say love or say truth. And that is something that is objective or real.

Matt: 13:47

But then there's what I'm gonna call religious love and religious truth. And that's something that is based on story, narrative, mythology. The the story that says who's the hero, villain, victim, and reliable reporter. And if you get a dictate the roles of that story of that mythology, then that dictates love and dictates truth.

Kristin: 14:26

Mhmm.

Matt: 14:28

And then the third one is political truth and love of politics. So, yeah, let's call this religious truth and love of religion. Mhmm. Yeah. And political truth and love of politics Yeah.

Matt: 14:44

Which is allowing power to dictate love and truth. So here, it's not what is. It's not even based on story. It's what power do I have to force either a narrative or an outcome. Mhmm.

Matt: 15:00

Do I have the power, the influence to either destroy evidence of something that's not my position or recreate and replace evidence of me being right. And that's political pop, political truth and love of politics.

Kristin: 15:26

Politics. Yeah.

Matt: 15:28

And what's interesting is so many relationships are really filtered through either religious truth and love of religion or political truth and love of politics. And they allow those truths to impact the relationship. And as and as and as I've as we've deconstructed religion, political deconstruction happened with it. True. So True.

Matt: 16:06

You know, people ask me my politics and what they really mean are you a democrat or Republican or are you liberal or you conservative or you they got these labels, and I can't answer that.

Kristin: 16:21

Yeah.

Matt: 16:22

Absolutely. I don't I I I pretty much hate the same people you hate. That's what I tell them.

Kristin: 16:28

Yeah.

Matt: 16:29

Because that's a pretty accurate really doesn't matter who I, am talking to.

Matt: 16:35

Mhmm.

Matt: 16:35

I agree. I I I generally agree with them about the people they hate. Mhmm. I hate

Kristin: 16:45

it long.

Matt: 16:46

Because if you're filtering truth through through politics, I hate you.

Kristin: 16:50

Yeah. And the love of politics. Yeah. Right? It all matters about that.

Matt: 16:53

Yep. And similarly, if you filter your truth through religion

Kristin: 16:57

That's not the way we love it.

Matt: 16:58

That's that's that's not me. That's not

Kristin: 17:00

me. That's just not the way we yeah.

Matt: 17:02

Because I view myself as a philosopher, a lover of philosophy, a lover of my family, independent of any religious truth or political truth or love of religion and love of politics, that takes away from my love of my family. And in abandoning that, I simply embrace relate relationship truth, love of relationships.

Kristin: 17:39

Yeah.

Matt: 17:41

And for me, the because I'm an adult that are that are married, with children, the only relationships that matter are the ones with my wife and with my children. And and and and so what I call that, this other form of truth, this this relationship truth is true love. And again, this truth, but okay. Now we're back at true. Well, is it political truth, religious truth?

Matt: 18:07

Because you could have that within here. Mhmm. And that's what most people do. They say, I love my family. Oh, that's true.

Matt: 18:13

I I'm like you too, Matt. I'm I'm like you. I also that's my family is the most important thing. Yeah. I have true love.

Matt: 18:20

And then you go further and find out again, they filter their relationship through either political or religious love. Love. So I got a the word that I use instead of true is honest.

Kristin: 18:32

Yeah.

Matt: 18:34

Love of honesty and honest truth. And that's where I find the most valuable in elevating family relationships. Mind body relationships as well because the same thing applies to the relationship of my mind to the body and the body to my mind.

Kristin: 18:55

Yeah. The thing that you. Me. You. And

Matt: 18:59

it's it's it's it's it is. It's meant to be honest. So what's honest? I've been telling telling, you know, you know, our daughter, the other day. I was we're we're arguing.

Matt: 19:10

And and and I said, that that's just not true. And she said, it is true. And I said, you know what? You're right. It is true.

Matt: 19:20

It's just not honest. And she stopped. What's the difference? Well, you have provided me an accurate fact, But you have decontextualized it. You've taken it out of other also accurate facts

Kristin: 19:42

Mhmm.

Matt: 19:43

That instruct that fact and give and and and give more context, more of a more depth, more flavor to that fact. As it's honesty Mhmm. Is about accuracy, precision, and completeness.

Kristin: 20:04

Yes.

Matt: 20:06

Accuracy and precision is different. You can be accurate once, but to be precise, you need to be accurate again and again and again. Mhmm. And then to finish the exercise to be complete. So you have to be accurate, precise, and complete.

Matt: 20:25

You you go to the range and you fire 20 shots, and all you do is tell me about your one bullseye. And then don't mention that the other 19 didn't hit the target, you're not a good shot.

Kristin: 20:37

True.

Matt: 20:38

But it is true that you hit the bull's eye.

Kristin: 20:42

Yeah. That's a very great example.

Matt: 20:45

Right.

Kristin: 20:46

Very great example.

Matt: 20:48

It's true.

Kristin: 20:49

Yeah.

Matt: 20:50

But is it honest?

Kristin: 20:51

And complete. Yeah.

Matt: 20:53

Yeah. Is it honest?

Kristin: 20:54

Is it yeah.

Matt: 20:57

And that's a good way to filter really all of philosophy experience. Mhmm. Is it true? Right? Is it accurate?

Matt: 21:10

Is it complete? Mhmm. Is it precise? Because too often, we we rush to judgment without there being completeness. It's like a song that that that has dissonance.

Matt: 21:24

Right? You have these these these the conflict of notes. It's It's as if you stopped right there and things went, ah

Kristin: 21:30

Yeah. Turn it off. Noise. Just a minute.

Matt: 21:35

I'm doing something. It's pretty cool. There's a thing we called resolve Yeah. Or resolution, and it makes it pretty. Yeah.

Matt: 21:48

It all makes sense. Yeah. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. Because I it's just so so interested when people wanna talk about my truth.

Matt: 22:06

I I don't but my truth is your truth is our truth. I want your truth.

Kristin: 22:13

Right? Yes. It's like

Matt: 22:15

that What's a Christmas gram? I want one.

Kristin: 22:18

Like we said earlier, the perception and the perspective really you they they go hand in hand because just like that, if your perception's off reality, you're then you don't even have an accurate perception.

Matt: 22:35

Right.

Kristin: 22:35

But when you share with another, it'll you know, you have to make sure your perception or when your perception and their perception, you can find reality.

Matt: 22:46

Right. Well, and it

Kristin: 22:48

But my truth, all that, that's to live against reality isn't really a healthy thing because you just keep getting farther from it.

Matt: 22:56

And it but it does take a lot of trust to filter your perception, your reality through another person.

Kristin: 23:04

Yeah.

Matt: 23:05

Because that forces you to be complete Mhmm. Precise and accurate. And and too many people are not just not willing to do that. So instead, we filter it through somebody else's recipe book.

Kristin: 23:18

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Matt: 23:19

Because we can do that internally because we can't tell you the whole picture. Mhmm. And that, again, requires honesty to have an honest connection. Yeah. It it's again, it's the problem with with modern with modern, therapy is is is it's only as can only be as good or effective as the person's able to be honest with themselves, let alone the person they're reporting to.

Kristin: 23:45

Yeah.

Matt: 23:45

So I can find truth Yeah. If you're not honest. It's because they don't. They they just they just want outcomes. Mhmm.

Matt: 23:53

But these these to think about thinking, to feel what is real, to know what is true, and to be right about you is philosophy.

Kristin: 24:09

Mhmm.

Matt: 24:11

And and it's really what we tell children to do, and it's kinda what's in children's mind from the beginning. They are excited to think, to be aware, to remember.

Kristin: 24:23

Mhmm.

Matt: 24:24

Well, this is our two year old, grand friend now walking around to the new stage and awe awe in awareness. Mhmm. He's aware of something and oh my

Kristin: 24:45

gosh. He's Yes.

Matt: 24:49

Fascinated. He's excited about awareness. Mhmm. I love watching it. Mhmm.

Matt: 24:54

I'm like, I want that. Christmas gram gram. I want one. I wanna walk around. Oh my gosh.

Kristin: 25:01

I I know.

Matt: 25:02

I did just drive in a, in a in a Tesla for the first time recently, and I did feel a little, oh my gosh. Yeah.

Kristin: 25:10

I would say the same. Yeah. That's hilarious.

Matt: 25:12

Yeah. Oh, I know. But to think about thinking, to learn, to feel, to do, to succeed. That's I did it. You know, and and and is this western philosophy, obviously, came from Socrates, which became Plato, which became Aristotle, which which each built on the others and brought thinking, brought concepts, brought theory a little further.

Kristin: 25:57

Mhmm.

Matt: 25:59

Aristotle developed a great system of wisdom in the scientific method, which which was just simply an a form of thinking, learning, feeling, and doing. Mhmm. It's to observe, measure, predict, test.

Kristin: 26:17

Mhmm.

Matt: 26:17

But

Matt: 26:17

there's a think, learn, feel, do.

Kristin: 26:21

Yeah.

Matt: 26:23

And and that continued on to today where there are people doing good philosophy, loving wisdom, applying experience, applying knowledge Mhmm. And using good judgment.

Kristin: 26:38

Yeah.

Matt: 26:43

And it exists even in in sacred spaces in order to consider, you know, divine areas. I I I think the best I think one of the the most ancient and the most, at least the most precise and the closest to this this type of philosophy is, Vendata philosophy

Kristin: 27:03

Mhmm.

Matt: 27:04

Which is which is expressed as Hinduism. Time. And and there are the four great yogas, the four great exercises, the four great nondual experiences. There's never a end to the when I say yoga, I'm not talking about obviously body movement, not hatha yoga. I'm talking about the four great yogas, reya, jana, bhakti, and karma.

Matt: 27:30

Reya, to think, to think about thinking. Jana, to learn, to know what is true. Bhakti, to feel what is real and karma to do to be right about you. Mhmm. And that eastern philosophy, love of wisdom

Kristin: 27:59

Mhmm.

Matt: 28:00

Has an application, a soundness that that that that is applied pretty well to humanity if done with wisdom.

Kristin: 28:13

Mhmm. Yeah.

Matt: 28:16

If done from a place of love, not exploitation. Mhmm. In in the Western world and especially in the modern Western world, there are, modern mystics, master modern skeptics who are also mystical in their skepticism that that that stood on the shoulders of Aristotle in the areas of psychology and education and the mind Mhmm. In relationships. And and and and and they're known.

Matt: 28:50

Abraham Maslow, the modern of positive psychology. And positive psychology meaning finding happiness rather than trying to neutralize pathology and threats.

Kristin: 29:02

Mhmm.

Matt: 29:03

Creative tools versus neutralizing pathogens.

Kristin: 29:08

Yeah.

Matt: 29:09

And and Maslow right? That's why he said, if if the what what is it? The if all you carry is a hammer, the world looks a nail. Yeah. Everything looks like a nail.

Matt: 29:20

And you hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer. So he he was commenting on the need for more tools in order to identify, predict, and meet your needs.

Kristin: 29:32

Mhmm. Yeah.

Matt: 29:34

Your esteem needs, your, safety needs, your,

Kristin: 29:42

your connection your relationship.

Matt: 29:44

Your your connection needs.

Kristin: 29:46

Yeah.

Matt: 29:47

And and and all these your developmental needs. How about that? Yeah. Your cognitive functioning needs.

Kristin: 29:54

Because it because really that he was yes. He was saying all of this. Yeah. It really is.

Matt: 30:00

To think.

Kristin: 30:01

Yeah. And get to a place where you can. You have to be safe and, you know, to be able to develop.

Matt: 30:09

And and and, you know, Benjamin Bloom who who still use the the, you know, Bloom's taxonomy.

Kristin: 30:16

Bloom's taxonomy. Yep.

Matt: 30:18

I Who the system of learning, the process of learning. Yes. The the ability to learn to ultimately you know, whereas Maslow was the the there is a there is the capacity to transcend, which is to transcend suffering. If you meet your needs fully enough, it means you've neutralized your your threats and the and the and the pathogens enough Mhmm. To actually experience this thing called happiness.

Matt: 30:49

Really, it's not even happiness to when if you're in transcendence, you're in ecstasy. You eliminate and reduce agony enough

Kristin: 31:00

Mhmm.

Matt: 31:03

In order to experience ecstasy. In bloom, you can learn enough to get to a place until you create.

Kristin: 31:11

Create. Mhmm.

Matt: 31:14

Knowledge. You know, remembering becomes creation.

Kristin: 31:17

Mhmm.

Matt: 31:18

Knowing Learning a thing. Learning a

Kristin: 31:21

thing. You to create a thing.

Matt: 31:22

Create a thing. Yeah. This is

Kristin: 31:25

And to fully he taught to fully learn a thing. Right. Just by knowing just by knowing something Right. Does not mean you know.

Matt: 31:32

I heard a thing once.

Kristin: 31:33

And that is the most, like, the knowing.

Matt: 31:34

I can

Kristin: 31:34

repeat it. That does not mean you know a thing.

Matt: 31:37

That's right.

Kristin: 31:39

Yeah. Until and it's the really the higher steps of application and analyzing, which is the what you were saying, the wisdom of thinking through a thing, being able to fully think with your fully developed brain. So he was speaking the same thing.

Matt: 31:54

And the fourth is, Mikhail Cheeks and Mihalya.

Kristin: 31:58

Mhmm.

Matt: 31:59

You know, flow theory. And, you know, that's the concept of you work on doing a thing at a level that is challenging enough, but you're good at so it's interesting and exciting and, exhilarating and frustrating enough, but not too frustrating as as to be destructive.

Kristin: 32:25

Yeah.

Matt: 32:26

And he called that flow when people call it in the zone. But that wasn't just, like, you know, being and being being in a presence, for example, a form of meditation. It was a form of doing. It was active.

Kristin: 32:40

Yeah. I think it's a little misunderstood.

Matt: 32:42

Yeah. It was applying. It was really applied applied knowledge, wisdom. Now it can be in a in the terms of whether it be sports, golf, basketball, work, plays, lovemaking. You can be in the zone and always improving your technique, your skill, your understanding, your development, your application Mhmm.

Matt: 33:12

To do. And so that's a Western is that that's the Western philosophers, four great yogas. Mhmm. Or three great yoga. Those three, there's a fourth.

Matt: 33:24

And that's relationships.

Kristin: 33:26

Yes.

Matt: 33:26

And just recently, within the last year, a fascinating study called the Harvard study just came out. And it's a study about relationships and how we know they say, we figured out happiness, everyone. It took us a hundred years.

Kristin: 33:45

Oh, yeah. A hundred

Matt: 33:46

years. Millions of dollars.

Kristin: 33:47

Longest study did you say?

Matt: 33:48

Longest longest longitudinal study with just a an incredible That's impressive. It's an impressive study

Kristin: 33:53

Yeah.

Matt: 33:54

In its scope and in its application and in its value and rigor Mhmm. And and its reliability.

Kristin: 34:00

Yeah. Yes. That matters.

Matt: 34:02

And what it says is humans are happy when they have relationships. And therein is the rub, whether it be Maslow, Bloom, or the Harvard study. How? Good question. We know we need our needs.

Matt: 34:31

We we it's important to have your needs met.

Kristin: 34:34

Mhmm.

Matt: 34:34

We know it's important to reduce suffering. We know

Kristin: 34:40

No. We know it's important.

Matt: 34:42

That it's important to learn. Mhmm. We know.

Kristin: 34:45

Important to connect.

Matt: 34:46

It's important to connect. Everyone knows. And we know it's important

Kristin: 34:48

to trying.

Matt: 34:49

It's important to be productive. That's what she said. Be productive. And it's like, calm down.

Kristin: 34:57

Oh, no. I'm How?

Matt: 35:01

Unfortunately, I think there's there is an answer. And the best answer is through bloom. Start by learning. And how do you start by learning? You start by hearing.

Matt: 35:17

Every child does. They start learning by hearing Mhmm. By observing the first step in It's not true. The scientific method. Yes.

Matt: 35:29

They hear. They observe. And then once they develop language, what's how do they gain more knowledge? They ask Yeah. Questions.

Matt: 35:42

Yes.

Kristin: 35:43

Or they do little tests and right? Do tests. Figure it out. They're trying. I got this reaction.

Kristin: 35:47

And this was their their trial

Matt: 35:49

and error.

Kristin: 35:50

This trial and error.

Matt: 35:50

They measure. They predict.

Kristin: 35:52

Mhmm.

Matt: 35:52

And they test.

Kristin: 35:53

Through what they have learned or know already yet.

Matt: 35:55

And so the best way to get a child to learn is to hear them, ask questions of their questions, give them truthful, accurate, complete, and precise information, And then test it together.

Kristin: 36:17

Yeah. That's good.

Matt: 36:18

And adjust

Matt: 36:20

Yep.

Matt: 36:20

Your information based on a shared experience, not a religious story driven, mythological, political power driven way.

Kristin: 36:32

Yeah.

Matt: 36:33

And in learning that way, you're connecting. In learning that way, you're communicating. In learning that way, you're finding flow. And in learning that way together, you're identifying everyone's needs and experiencing a thing called empathy, which is abstract thinking, which is wise.

Kristin: 37:04

Mhmm.

Matt: 37:05

It's wisdom and experiencing true love, honest love, which is understood as intimacy. It's not that deep. It doesn't have to be. Mhmm. And so what religion are you?

Matt: 37:22

What politics are you? I love is my religion, as I think Lenny says. I love love. I love honesty. I love truth.

Matt: 37:40

I love justice. I love morality, but I love wisdom. And so I love things like I'm American. I love my guns. I love my guns not because the power of the destruction of them, but I love the wisdom of gun safety.

Matt: 38:03

Mhmm. Because there's wisdom in gun safety and security, control over a very dangerous tool. The first those those rules are the the the wise rules are treat every weapon, every every gun as if it's loaded. Number one. Number two, don't point the gun at anything you're not willing to kill or destroy.

Matt: 38:32

Number three, know your target and what's behind it, beyond it, around it. Be aware. Have attention. Love your target. Then the fourth one, keep your fucking finger off your fucking trigger until you are ready and intentional in depressing it.

Matt: 38:58

And there's wisdom in that. And those same principles can be applied to a lot of situations.

Kristin: 39:07

And you can be sound and knowing with that wisdom

Matt: 39:12

Is that

Kristin: 39:12

how safe.

Matt: 39:13

Apply that to sex. It works.

Kristin: 39:21

Yep.

Matt: 39:24

A buddy of mine is a a he's a motorcycle enthusiast and an instructor, and he does a lot of, motorcycle safety stuff. And as a as an intermediate rider, I'm I love talking to him, but he was he was talking about, motorcycle safety. And he calls it, we call it SIPTI. SIPTI. Like SIP.

Kristin: 39:51

Oh, okay. SIP.

Matt: 39:52

D.

Kristin: 39:52

Not SIPD.

Matt: 39:53

No. SIPD. Not t. SIPD. S I p d e.

Kristin: 39:58

Oh, SIPD. Okay.

Matt: 40:00

And that stands for scan, identify, predict, decide, execute. And what he just described there was wisdom. Yeah. Experience, knowledge, good judgment in the application of that. What he described was the scientific method.

Matt: 40:27

What he described was pretty high in cognitive functioning And it's why driving is such it requires cognitive functioning. And it's why we don't let, you know, why 16 year olds is the bottom or, you know, the the pretty much the

Kristin: 40:44

Young.

Matt: 40:45

The youngest that that driving should be happening on city roads with a lot with other cars.

Kristin: 40:53

Just yeah.

Matt: 40:54

Just the other one. Yeah. With with with stop signs, with stoplights, with a bunch of streets.

Kristin: 41:00

Yeah.

Matt: 41:01

Because a bunch of streets, bunch of cars, bunch of, traffic stuff

Kristin: 41:06

Mhmm.

Matt: 41:07

Requires pretty advanced developed, cognition. Mhmm. Good judgment. Requires wisdom. Requires real experience, real knowledge, and real good judgment.

Matt: 41:22

So I love motorcycle safety, and so I love motorcycles. I love, you know, I love high end sex techniques amongst lovers and partners because there's wisdom in the techniques, boundaries, and processes. Mhmm. And I think those process those boundaries include honesty

Kristin: 41:59

Mhmm.

Matt: 42:00

Accuracy, precision, and completeness about the thoughts you think.

Kristin: 42:05

Mhmm.

Matt: 42:07

And something after, I guess, twenty seven years of marriage, we've kind of figured out that all things are things. Mhmm. Including emotions. And if we can share our developed thoughts with each other, We can share experiences, knowledge, and then together find even better judgment than we could have alone.

Kristin: 42:38

True. True.

Matt: 42:39

And I think that's what Maslow was ultimately communicating and what Bloom was communicating with the Harvard study was intending to communicate. It's not just that you have relationships

Kristin: 42:53

Mhmm.

Matt: 42:53

But that you have a high quality relationship, that you have honest relationships Yeah. That you have connecting relationship, collaborative relationships, companionship, partnership, teammates.

Kristin: 43:03

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Matt: 43:06

Did you feel like you have a duty to the well-being Yeah. Of the person if you claim to love them. And there's that same application as it relates to parenting, wise parenting, is honest. That's good philosophy. It's good thinking.

Matt: 43:35

So it's making me think of an old story, a story about a word in the beginning. But in the beginning was a word, And a word was God. And a word was with God. And the word was made flesh and became real. Now some people have their religious truth and their political truth about what that means and who or what that word was.

Matt: 44:21

But I'm less interested in the word than in what where word comes from because a word doesn't doesn't just come from anywhere. A word is a developed and evolved thought, An idea. Mhmm. A concept. A theory.

Matt: 44:52

So before there was a word, there was a thought. There was an idea. There was a concept. There was consciousness. And that consciousness was god.

Matt: 45:11

Mhmm. And that thought was god. And that idea and concept was God. It was developed and evolved into a word that became matter. Because many words are ultimately a collection of many thoughts and many ideas, not just one.

Matt: 45:39

It takes a numb it it requires rubbing a number of thoughts together and and and and the alchemy of blending thoughts and ideas to generate language.

Kristin: 45:51

Yeah.

Matt: 45:56

But to make a word real is to do ultimately what Maslow, Bloom, Cheeks and Mihaiya and the Harvard study asserted can be. You can meet your needs. Mhmm. You can learn. You can create.

Matt: 46:19

Mhmm. You can do, and you can relate and connect to another being. To be human is the word made flesh. And then humans doing philosophy, doing human things, create new things.

Kristin: 46:41

Mhmm.

Matt: 46:43

Their own ideas and thoughts and concepts becoming words and turning those words, those nouns into verbs, into actions, into things, doing philosophy, loving philosophy, think about thinking. Mhmm. Learn what is true. Feel what is real and be right about you. That is the ancient of days.

Matt: 47:18

That is presence. That is today and that is tomorrow.

Kristin: 47:22

Mhmm.

Matt: 47:24

It's not that deep. It it never has been. It just requires a little more cognitive development and cognitive activation and the presence of somebody else that you love, honestly. Or something like that.